Heroes lost


Something terrible happened this past year.  I lost my heroes.  They didn’t die, or leave. In a slow and heart-wrenching process, I came to realize they weren’t who I thought they were.  They turned out to be human.  They turned out to be like me.  I looked up to these men.  I admired their dedication to their work, the people they cared for and blessed, and the seemingly indestructible nature of their faith and devotion.  Here is where I’ve decided to be vague, because I don’t hate them, and the story of losing my heroes gets foggy and mucky.  Looking back over my life, I think about other heroes I’ve had.  When they too became some of the many “lost” I’d simply move on to someone else who held my affections.  But not this time.  I am 30, which according to my own comments to others ten years ago is… “old.”  With age hopefully comes wisdom.  The knowledge that I possess now is that this earth holds no heroes, at least whom I used to think of as heroes.

We had some Nashville musicians roll into Lincoln this past weekend, and we even hosted a house show with a couple of them.  Normally, this is where I gush.  I watched others compliment, and gush, and there is a place for that I’m sure at least at a healthy level.  Yet deep down inside where the fondness of my hero affections usually grows, there is a wiser heart now (because I’m 30 and old I guess.)  Where I normally toil over the right things to say and do in front of these Nashvillinites,  I simply enjoyed my time in a room full of gracious, honest, and messed up souls.

So, how this all relates to Haiti.  The wind was knocked out of me when I went to Haiti this year.  Being back in the country though I realized that even though I loved my heroes and loved working with them, I love the orphaned and the oppressed more, and there will be few to help even now in their most desperate days.

The obvious conclusion (as you may be rolling your eyes right now) is that I really need to set my heart, my focus, and my affections on Christ.  The Hero of all, the hero of Haiti, the hero over life and death and all the crap we must wade through while here on earth.

As for the picture, I’m not sure what this man is thinking.  He looks so peaceful and I’m sure he knows something that I don’t.  I’m looking for that peace, and I hope I continue searching for it in Christ and not in another Hero that fails.

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